AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. When you hear the term "cybersex," you probably imagine some loser in his mom's basement perusing the web for some fake person to have fun with. But as technology has evolved over the past few decades, so have the online platforms that cater to facilitating virtual hookups. Gone are the days of fuzzy videos, poor connections and lost live streams.
Right under your nose
Today, there are many ways to partake in a steamy online exchange with a total stranger, whether that's in real time with the highest grade HD, or through a graphic textual fantasy. There are even toys that sync to your sexual experience to make cybersex more gratifying than ever before.
With so many hookup sites available, it can be hard to know where to start. Not to mention, finding a partner in the virtual world isn't exactly straightforward, especially if there's a particular fetish you're looking to explore. As with anything you get yourself into on the internet, be sure to never compromise your safety or privacy while you're engaging in all this virtual fun.
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Sure, you're safe from STDs during cybersex, but there are still plenty of other viruses you could contract if you're not careful. For starters, it's fun. Unlike porn, cybersex adds a level of intimacy and interaction that you can't get from watching two strangers go at it.
If you've ever held back from trying a fetish or sexual act because you weren't sure if you'd like it yourself or how a partner might reacttesting it out on a cybersex partner via chat or livestream offers a safe space to dip your toe in the water.
It can also end up boosting your confidence level once you do try and introduce it into the bedroom. Cybersex via chat also allows for the perfect sexual scenario using just your imagination. Porn limits you to the fantasies that producers have decided will get their audience off. Even if you're able to search by traits of your ideal woman or type of sex or fetish, your jerk-off session is tied to whatever plays out on the screen.
That's not the case when having cybersex with a stranger. You're able to imagine her as she is, doing what you want to her, with the words you're saying. Pretty hot, right? Plus, there are plenty of different ways to go about having cybersex.
If you're not one for words, so many sites offer live streaming capabilities. Even innocent details like the name of your street or personal details like your mother's maiden name can be a gateway for members to do damage to your identity, so make sure the information you're giving out isn't personal.
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If your has your first and last name in it or other identifying details, make a new before ing up for a cybersex site. Even though you're interacting virtually, it's still important to establish and respect boundaries. If one person wants to stop, you stop. When someone has a hard limit or boundary they don't want crossed, their partner should respect that. What makes sex good and legal doesn't end simply because it's taking place in a virtual world.
More often than not, there is a living, breathing person on the other side of that webcam.
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Remember the human. If you're connecting via video, getting things started with more sensual sounds will benefit your cyber experience. Telling or texting your partner what it is precisely that you would do to them if they were there — it can be a huge turn-on. It's likely to receive a reaction or comeback just as steamy. Best for: A big community Why we like it: Adult Friend Finder has a large user base that allows you to quickly and easily connect with other members looking for cyber sex. Pros: Communication takes place via webcams, chat rooms, or you can simply browse through different profiles, most of which are rather suggestive in nature.
Adult Friend Finder has flash chats and IMing features, both of which allow you to almost instantly get the cyber sex ball rolling. The site is a full on erotic experience, with everything from generic dating site features like a Hot or Not section, to a library of x-rated videos to stimulate your imagination. Cons: It's a bit of a free for all. Check out Adult Friend Finder.
Best for: Cybersex on a budget Why we like it: You get most of the bells and whistles from other sites at a cheaper price. Pros: if you log on to Friend Finder-X, you'll find a feed of steamy videos, livestreams, images and posts to feast your eyes on happening on the home. Want to get in on the action? Post a video, photo, or message to the feed to get responses from members, or meet members by way of searching who's online now. Still haven't found what you're looking for?
The sites "Live Action" section features chats, live broadcasts and webcams that'll easily connect you with members waiting to start their next cybersex session. Cons: If you're not comfortable with broadcasting yourself to the world, it may take longer to find a match as the site's set up favors the bold. Check out Friend Finder-X. Best for: The most virtual "bang" for your buck Why we like it: Logging onto XMatch feels like entering an extremely sensual "choose your own adventure. Functions like the site's "Cupid Preferences" allow some of the work to be done for you, since you're able to make your partner preferences known.
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Tag pictures, videos and members as "favorites" to easily navigate back once you're ready to get down to business. Cons: Setting the right filters and preferences can be tricky.
To ensure you're getting notified of messages as frequently as possible, update your chat and IM settings to refresh every 10 seconds. Check out XMatch.
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Best for: Top-notch filter capabilities Why we like it: iHookup's standout features definitely lie in their search capabilities and compatibility algorithms. There are so many ways to discover members, whether by a comprehensive search that gets as granular as body type and favorite sexual activities, or a compatibility rating that tells you whether you and a member are best suited for "On the Streets" or "In the Sheets. Don't worry about not being able to reconnect with a favorite member, either.
The site logs your recently viewed profiles, which you can favorite for your next visit.
To make finding what you want even easier, you can set your preferences to show only the videos you're interested in anything from blondes to BDSM. Check out iHookup. Best for: Connecting with a large user base Why we like it: A newcomer to the scene, AdultXXXDate has an impressive member base, estimated at over 80 million users.
Who are all these people? The site uses ConfirmID, a third-party service that validates users information to confirm they are who they claim, to prevent you from being duped.
Pros: While the platform does have the capability to "match" users for IRL dates and hook ups, there's also other ways members can connect virtually. The sites "social groups" section is a place where users chat about their fantasies in real time, and can be filtered by location, topic and keyword to help you find exactly what you're looking for.
There's a space for "activities," where users post photos and videos of themselves along with what they're into. It makes for a quick and easy way to find a cyber partner to reach out to. There are also live member cams you can stream and interact with, as well as instant messaging features to get in touch with members privately.
Best for: Integrating a high-tech toy Why we like it: If you're looking for cybersex that's a bit more immersive, you might want to dip your toe into the world of interactive VR porn. Pros: Equal parts online community and sex game, logging on to 3DXChat allows you to have sex with other players as the "character" of your choice.
The best part? You'll be able to watch it all happen from your perspective in VR using the Oculus Rift which you'll have to buy. You can also sync your experience to the fleshlight Vstroker to make the fantasy you're having really Cons: It's not exactly the most realistic cybersex experience you get with other sites.
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Also, the buy-in is pricey if you're looking to see it all in true VR with a heet. Check out 3DXChat. Best for: A highly visual cybersex escapade Why we like it: They don't call it "Passion. If you log onto this site, you'll immediately be lured in by the sultry members featured front and center. Pros: There are plenty of ways to connect with members, whether you want to filter by body type or even whether or not they wear glasses.
If you want to cut to the chase, navigating over to the "Live Action" section will give you access to live model chats, member web cams and sexy chat rooms.
Similar to other sites, the "What's Hot" feature gives you a look into the members, photos and videos that are getting the most love at any given moment. Cons: It doesn't have as many members as sites like AdultXXXDate, but if you're looking for quality over quantity you should give this site a spin.
Check out Passion. Whether you want to free up your hands to type out your fantasies or take your livecam action up a notch, here are a few toys worth considering for your next cybersex session.
This vibrator for men relies on oscillating technology to deliver sensations that work your member toward a more powerful orgasm without you having to do any of the work. Choose from five different vibration settings, each deed to stimulate the most sensitive parts of your penis at varying levels of intensity.
It's rechargeable via a convenient USB plug, and the toy lasts for up to an hour of play. If you feel claustrophobic about sticking your penis into a vibrating toy, the Pulse III Solo's open-ended de will make you just as happy. If you've found yourself a steady cybersex partner, it's probably worthwhile to invest in a toy that keeps the two of you even more connected.
Give your partner control over your pleasure with this Bluetooth-capable toy.