By: Stephanie Kirby. Medically Reviewed By: Sonya Bruner. The first weeks and months of a budding relationship are often filled with hours-long conversations and exciting late-night phone calls. You both can't wait to talk with each other as your relationship grows. You hate when your conversations are over and can't wait for the next opportunity. But after those early days, the talk might not flow as easily.
The newness has worn off and it's time to find some ways to jumpstart the conversation.
Maybe your conversations were great in the beginning, or maybe it's always been a struggle. Communication issues are normal-but can also be a red flag of a relationship in trouble.
It doesn't mean you need to call it quits. There's much you can do.
40 ideas to talk about with your boyfriend
Effective communication is important for your relationship so you can truly know your partner and resolve differences. Being able to communicate will help you move past problems that could have otherwise tripped up your relationship. One of the best ways to connect with a person is to focus on their interests.
Lots of topics of conversation can come from merely finding out what your boyfriend likes and going from there. If you're in a new relationship and don't know the answers to questions, like what he does in his spare time, what his hobbies are, who he looks up to, and what his dream job is, ask! Find out what kind of books he re, movies and television shows that he watches, and what kinds of sports he likes to play or watch.
Is he an intellectual type? Does he talk about politics or law? Now is the time to figure out what you two have in common. A fun method is to play twenty questions, relationship style. There are lots of good questions you can find online, print out, cut into strips, and pop in a fishbowl. Questions like "If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would be the first thing you would do with the money?
Be sure to inquire about his past. What was his favorite childhood movie? Maybe you two could watch it again. Did he have a favorite album growing up? Find out and play it in the car while you are headed out on a date. Look at old family photo albums and ask about the people in the pictures. As long as you are genuinely interested in getting to know your boyfriend, asking targeted questions about his interests and his past will help get the conversation going and build connections. Relationship experts often encourage the use of conversation starter questions.
Some good ways how to start a conversation with your boyfriend
If you're having trouble getting him to open up, maybe it is time to talk about yourself. Tell him what you like to do when you're not working or with him, what you want to do this weekend, what you wish you could do, or even what you want to do in the future.
In fact, future plans are a great conversation starter that can open him up about what he wants to do in the future. Tell him what your childhood was like, what your family is like, your favorite books and movies, or what games you like to play. If you are still new to the relationship, it may not be a good time to talk about how you want to get married and have kids, so be mindful of that!
If you don't know where to start, use some of the conversation starters we talked about above, but in reverse. Tell him what makes you the happiest, the strangest movie you've ever watched, and the craziest thing you want to try someday. Just make sure you bring the conversation back around to him at some point. If twenty questions feels too awkward, play a different kind of game. When you're feeling a little braver, try a game like "no words" in which you each ask yes-and-no questions over drinks. For example, you might ask, "Were you nervous on our very first date?
One sip means "yes," while two sips mean "no. Two truths and one lie is another game you can play with your boyfriend as a way to start a conversation. With this game, you take turns telling each other two things that are true and one that is not. The other person is responsible for deciding which is the untruth. This game is a simple way to get an in-depth conversation going, especially if the real facts you share are interesting.
Sometimes it is okay to sit and enjoy the silence. While some people find it uncomfortable just to have quiet companionship, it is a great way just to enjoy each other's company. Once you move past the stage of getting to know each other, sometimes it can be forced to keep a conversation going at all times.
Learn more about what influences them
If this is the stage that you're in, don't feel bad about it. However, if this makes you uncomfortable, or you're still working on building the relationship, don't be afraid to talk about nothing. Or anything. Think of something you heard on the television or some gossip you read in a magazine. If all else fails, talk about the weather. If you're truly struggling with conversations, it could be for many deeper reasons. Social anxiety could make you uncomfortable talking, even though you really want to. Or it could be that you lack self-confidence which makes it hard to decide what to talk about.
They provide you with topics to talk about and open the door for further conversation. They could be fun questions or thought-provoking ones. You can also try to come up with some conversation starters on your own. You and your partner could write out topics to talk about on slips of paper and draw them out of a hat.
This combines conversation starters with a game you can play together. If your conversations are a struggle in your relationship, a therapist can help you learn how to improve your communication skills. Doing so will help your relationship.
20 fun conversation starters for long-term relationships
BetterHelp has online counselors that can work with you on an individual level or with you and your boyfriend together. You can read some reviews of our BetterHelp counselors below. She also asks me every week what I'd like to work on, so it's just really great to be able to decide and then to put it into action. Without her, I wouldn't even know where to start.
He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!! This could include a marriage and family therapist or a dating expert. Take a minute to look at your relationship and see if there are other red flags that it might be better to end the relationship before it hits long term status.
The communication in your relationship can always improve. Use the tips above like the conversation starters to spark conversation with your boyfriend. You may find even with silly fun questions, that he becomes not only your romantic partner but your best friend as well. With the right tools, you can strengthen your relationship. By: Stephanie Kirby Updated July 02, Medically Reviewed By: Sonya Bruner The first weeks and months of a budding relationship are often filled with hours-long conversations and exciting late-night phone calls.