When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match.
Top tips for dating an older man
We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person's history is years or decades longer than the other's? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks.
While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger manthe dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is ificant. Three years later, search husbandnotdad on Instagram and you'll find a collection of smiling couples; on Twitterthe same hashtag's happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton's point.
When women over 40 find themselves drawn to someone who's older, they are less of a target for those who cry 'daddy issues.
2. he may have a lot more—or a lot less—time for you.
A range of generation gap-related issues more on those below can be easier to bridge when you're over 40 as well. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman.
That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom.
A woman in her 40s or older has plenty of hard-won lessons and accomplishments of her own to tout, of course. She just might love getting involved with a person who's on equally-solid ground and has been there for awhile.
Dating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s.
Maybe you're dating after a divorceand you're a single mom who needs to carve out the time for a love life. A man who's already been married and raised kids has no carpool schedules to contend with, which can mean he's got more time to plan amazing dates. According to Lester, if you're seeing someone who is ten or more years older than you, "he's likely to have children who are less dependent on him, and have more free time—which can be particularly helpful if your kids are still more dependent.
If his working days are behind him and you're still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day. You two may not be picking out wedding rings at this point, but if things start getting serious, it's worth discussing what you both think your next ten-to-twenty years will look like.
Five tips for dating older men
Do you have any further family ambitions? Are you open to traveling, or moving somewhere else? So he doesn't know who Cardi B isand you don't have the same points of nostalgia—that might not bug you at all, and that's just great. But what if you start talking politics and trends, only to discover he's completely immovable in his views? It certainly depends on the individual, but "he may be very set in his ways and can appear less open-minded than younger men," Paulette warns.
1. you may not be in the relationship for all the right reasons
Lester agrees. Or, you know, they might not be.
While Sherman says an older man may prefer you to call him rather than sending a string of texts, Lester says that's not necessarily true. We have people in their 90s using it! Your difference in years may elicit some unfortunate assumptions and remarks, but if you truly care about each other, stay focused on how you feel. Your Best Life.
2. he may have a lot more — or a lot less — time for you
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